1.Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.
2.Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.
3.What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet!
4.If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called? A subordinate Claus.
5.Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him.
6.What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle
7.What do you call a person who is scared of Santa? Claus-trophobic!
8.How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
9.What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
10.What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
11.What reindeer has the cleanest antlers? Comet!
12.What does Santa say when he gets sick? OH OH NO!
-submitted by"Gigi" Nov 28-03

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Gumdrop, I can't believe it! I just bought a new pair of snow tires and they melted before I got them home!

Q: What's a snowman's favourite thing for dinner?
A: Frozen dinners and snowballs!

Q: What do snowmen drink for breakfast?
A: Freeze dried coffee!

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes!

Q: What do snowmen use to make sandwiches?
A: Cold cuts!

Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch?
A: Ice burgers!

ELF 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
ELF 2: Okay everyone, sack time!